“Attention, reluctantly health-conscious consumer who doesn’t really want to change his/her ways or be told what to do by any goddamn doctor, government agency or do-gooder Michael Pollan-type health nut but feels he/she must do, you know, something, because it’s becoming more difficult to breathe, staircases are increasingly hateful and the doctor did say something about early-onset arthritis and bone degeneration and potential colorectal cancer and no one wants that, I guess! We here at the Co